Finish this Story…
So a few days ago I attended the National Day on Writing event at Eastern Michigan University. I don’t want to go into too much detail about the event itself, but you can be sure that it was (1) awesome, (2) made me feel like a kid again and (3) reignited the fire that is my imagination.
Anyway, one of the booths, for lack of a better term, at this event was titled “Finish this Story.” After reading a few stories finished by other participants I decided that it would be in my best interest to do the same. The story I finished and am going to share with you is titled “Momzilla” and was written by Mrs. Medley’s class at Adams Elementary in Ypsilanti (the italicized paragraph was written by the class, and everything following was written by me.
And as a warning, I must admit that in finishing the story, there were no guidelines or limits to what we could write about.
Momzilla was a Momster who had green, crazy hair. Most of the time she was a regular mom, but when she saw danger, she turned into a monster. When she was a monster, her eyes were black, her face turned red, and she looked a hundred-and-eighty-nine years old; when she was a mom, she was young.
Momzilla’s best friend was a ghoul named Awesomness, but everyone called him Champ. He had special powers, like being able to shoot fireballs from his eyes and lasers from his teeth. His body was covered in spikes. Because of the spikes, Champ often wore pillows all over his body so that he could hug his friends, like Momzilla.
Momzilla and Champ lived across the hall from each other in the same apartment complex in Las Vegas. The Haunted Apartment Complex of the Living Dead looked like a beautiful luxury hotel from the inside, but from the outside it was covered in chains and looked terrifying.
One night, Momzilla and Champ were cooking their favorite dinner together: eyeballs, guts, and spaghetti.
“We’ve got lots of food here,” Momzilla said. “Maybe we should invite that evil peanut butter and jelly sandwich over for dinner because he hates eyeballs, guts, and spaghetti and only eats cold milk.”
“Why should we invite that evil PB&J over?” Champ asked.
“I don’t know if we should. It was just an idea,” Momzilla responded. “I was thinking we could poison him with kindness so that he can’t hurt people anymore.”
Momzilla got on the phone and called the sandwich and invited him over for dinner.
Twenty minutes later, the sandwich arrived. PJ’s nickname was kitten and he had a milk superpower. he was nutritious, but diabolical. He was constantly in a bad mood because he was made out of bread, and he hated bread.
“Come on in,” Momzilla said. “Champ and I made a wonderful dinner that we would like to share with you.”
Kitten cautiously entered Momzilla’a apartment, helped himself to a tall class of Kool-Aid, and took a seat at the table. “What are we having for dinner?” he asked.
“Oh, I’ve whipped up a special batch of my favorite meal: eyeballs, guts, and spaghetti, with an extra special ingredient,” The Momster replied.
Even though Kitten hated those items, he wanted to be gracious guest, so he decided to eat it anyway. Not more than two bites in, Kitten’s face started to expand like a balloon, and zits starting bubbling up and exploding puss everywhere. Within a matter of minutes, Kitten the evil PB&J exploded, covering the room in a gooey, peanut buttery and jellyish mess.
“Crap!” yelled Momzilla and Champ simultaneously.
A few days later Kitten’s obituary showed up in the newspaper. It read:
Kitten the evil PB&J was brutally murdered on Oct. 17, 2009, in Momzilla’s apartment. Toxicology reports showed that he had been poisoned with kindness. The Momster admitted that she had poisoned him in attempts to make him not so evil. Little did the Momster know, however, that the EPB&J was deathly allergic to the poison she use.
The Momster and her accomplice Champ have been found guilty of the highest degree of murder in the Court of Public Opinion and have been sentenced to death by firing squad. Their remains will be fed to crocodiles at the local zoo the day after tomorrow.
A memorial service will be held for Kitten at Steve’s Family Funeral Home, LLC. on Oct. 31, 2009. The burial will follow at P. Pan’s Cemetary.
Kitten is survived by his wife and 19 children.